Searching For Something New

Dearest Este,

So I was jilted. Ok that's dramatic lol I've been single for a little over two years now. My last relationship ended after a mutual agreement. Some how this mutual agreement turned into an "open relationship" (i'm still not sure how that happened) and we were in this over dramatic hook up that wouldn't end lol It went on for a lot longer than I had anticipated and I felt myself drifting away. If I met myself today I wouldn't recognize myself. We were together without a title and he was ok with this. I felt myself holding back and unable to move on with my life. He wasn't having much trouble doing this.

Fortunately, I was able to break away from this and have gotten the chance to start a new. Only problem ... I don't know how. I really feel like I've lost myself. I don't look like I did two and a half years ago and I really dont think I act the same. Being single for this long, I've developed this weird fear of dating. I really dont even know how to talk to guys. It's really unlike me.

So I guess my question is .... how should I go about finding something new? & are you going to tell me that I need to love myself before someone else can love me? Because I do love myself lol I'm just going through some shit .. HELP!

- Searching For Something New (SFSN)

Answer

Well first and foremost, lets all praise the lord that you let go of that LOSER! Since you have developed this weird fear of dating, you need to take things slowly, SFSN. Things always come into our lives unexpectedly. Do the typical things woman do when they want to mingle with men. Try going to school events, meet up with friends, find a cutie at the apple store (voted the best place to find a man according to the NY Times of course..lol). Ultimately what I am saying is, don't pay much attention to it, just live your life and be social. Since you seen to be pretty confident I do not think this will be a problem. Something will def come your way. But maintain a good balance between being social and being available. I know, I know....its a sick sad world..lol. Have FUN and Embrace your weirdness lol, I did.